


the one who makes me feel alive

by Yukitophantom



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Be careful there is some gore here (?) idk, But is it a really happy ending?, But it's just a bad dream, Izaya is a bad boyfriend bc he's not the best person, M/M, They are boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:18:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18879556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yukitophantom/pseuds/Yukitophantom
Summary: - You ask me why, but it's not obvious? I'm dead inside. -Then he woke up.It was just a nightmare. Again.OrShizuo's mother died, and this loss made him fear losing more precious people, like Izaya.





	the one who makes me feel alive

**Author's Note:**

> Don't mind me. This is jus't something i've wrote probably on 2015.  
> English isn't my native language, i'm actually from Brazil. So please, notice me if something is strange.  
> Please, enjoy.

\- Why?! - Shizuo snarled at the slender figure which had a closed smile with his eyes almost closed in slots, sarcastic, as if he were seeing his sins and laughing of them.  
\- Why do you do all this, bastard?- The blonde wasn’t sure, perhaps because of the huge full moon that graced the view behind him, but he was pretty sure Izaya had just frowned before a huge smile cut his face .  
For a few seconds, Izaya said nothing. Then, he slowly picked up his pocketknife which made Shizuo squeeze his fists. In a swift movement, Izaya stabbed his own chest.  
However, he showed no pain.  
His expression remained impassive as he lowered the blade with unbelievable ease through his flesh, opening a vertical cut from his collarbone to his belly button. The barman widened his eyes, opening his mouth as he took a step back.  
\- Look how interesting, Shizuo ... – His voice tone was cold, while he was calling him closer with his first finger, Shizuo hesitated and Izaya smiled even more. Izaya held the sides of the cut skin, which leak out a dark and stinking blood. -...I'm dead inside. –  
Then he opened the cut, showing his bones and organs, his intestine falling with the blood on the floor.  
\- You ask me why, but, it’s not obvious? - He asked, putting his hand inside his own body through the cut, looking up into his own ribs and from there he took his heart out. It was so putrid that a mixture of green and very dark red give color to it. - I feel alive when i fuck with other's people life... -. Shizuo felt the urge to vomit and started to break out in a cold sweat.  
\- And you Shizu-chan ...- He came toward the blonde guy, watching every single reaction. -You're the one who makes me feel alive the most. -

And he woke up.  
Pulling the air hard, Shizuo instantly grabbed the bed sheet with tremendous force and grabbed something less soft than the cloth, hearing a crackle followed by a loud grunt. He felt pain in his own chest, still numb, a pocket knife trying vainly to stab him, then a pale hand, a thin forearm, and a gray shirt, a purple-painted neck, and oh, Izaya.  
-What the hell ... Shizu-chan, ugh ... - Shizuo didn’t understand the expression of pain on Izaya’s face neither the reason of Izaya stab him, until something move in Shizuo hand. He turned his gaze back to there.  
\- Oh - That was all he could say before he let go the thin left wrist, which was now crooked. He watched Izaya pull his right hand away from the pocketknife and pick up his own injured arm, rising on the bed. – I’m sorry... -  
\- This nightmare again? You broke ... "Izaya said, examining his own wrist. Shizuo followed the other man's movement, sitting up in bed, not caring about the little smudge of blood on the white shirt he wore. Yes, Shizuo was being tortured by this nightmare since his mother's death, which occurred only a few weeks ago. The loss made him afraid to lose other things that are precious to him. Like Izaya.  
\- Izaya ... Sorry, i didn’t ... I didn’t want to. Let me see it ... - He extended his hand to Izaya.  
Izaya cringed. And Shizuo's heart ached so much that he felt his eyes fill with tears, thanking that Izaya was now looking to his injure.  
-...Can I hug you? – Shizuo voice trembles.  
His ask was received with a laughter full of derision and sarcasm. Of course, Izaya's personality would not change. Even though Shizuo knew that the informant had loving feelings for him, Izaya was immutable.  
\- Shizu-chan is a little kid scared with nightmares, - he chuckled. - A little child who just broke my arm, congratulations! - His tone of voice changed to angrily. - Honestly, I don’t know what made me think sleeping next to you would any time be safe, damn, to think the money that this will cost me- And he was interrupted.  
\- Izaya. - Shizuo frowned, his face contorted in sadness and irritation as he hugged the man.  
\- I was afraid to lose you. - Izaya can feel Shizuo's muscles shaking. He could also feel the lack of air that the tightness of the blond caused. - In my dream ... I was so afraid of losing us. - Izaya wanted to ask what ‘us’ was, but he only tried hard to breathe properly. - Tell me again. - This time Izaya is the one who frowned, as he tried to pull away. Shizuo grabbed him harder, immediately loosening his grip when a groan of pain was heard. - Izaya ... - He whispered low in the ear of the informant, and Izaya avoid the shiver through his body.  
\- I like you, Shizu-chan ...- he whispered after one minute or two.  
\- ...And what else? -  
\- I won’t leave you ... alone. Never. -


End file.
